Unfortunately, even those relationships we thought would last forever sometimes end. No matter how high our hopes were, and no matter how much of ourselves we invested in the relationship, things don’t always work out. And when it comes to an end, it can feel as though you’ve lost your limb. You certainly feel like you’ve lost your rock and your future. The good news is that there is hope. People all over the world have suffered heartache and recovered. Moreover, sadness never lasts forever. We all grieve – it’s an important part of the healing process – but it eventually comes to an end. No matter how low you are feeling right now, just remember that this will pass. Let’s take a look at how to find happiness after a break up.
Grief is an essential emotion that helps to kickstart the recovery period. It’s when we start to grieve that the healing begins. Are you guilty of not allowing yourself the chance to grieve properly? Perhaps you immediately threw yourself back onto the dating scene, or maybe you insisted to your friends that you’re “Fine,” despite them offering support and counsel. Ignoring your emotions will only make things worse. Somewhere along the line, all that suppressed grief will rise to the surface and hit you at an unexpected time. Accept the support your friends are offering you. Allow yourself the opportunity to cry. Go for long walks and, write things down in a journal. Let your grief pour out of you.
If you feel hurt in the wake of a breakup, and feel as though you were wronged and that certain things happened that shouldn’t have happened, it’s important that you now wipe the slate clean by forgiving and forgetting. Forgiveness is an important part of YOUR healing process. A lot of people tend to see forgiveness as being all about the other person and letting them off the hook. But it’s more about us, and freeing ourselves from negative energy and bad memories. Forgive them so that you can start to mend, this is one of the important first aid tips on how to find happiness after a break up.
- Take Good Care Of Yourself
When we experience a bad breakup, it’s easy to be so angry with the world that we can no longer see the point in looking after ourselves anymore. Why should we eat healthily? What’s the point? And so we let ourselves go. We play the victim, wallow in self-pity and loathing, and lash out at ourselves and others. This is totally the wrong way to react. Playing the victim is the worst kind of punishment you can mete out to yourself at this stage. Your ex-partner may have “abandoned” you, but you’re now abandoning yourself. Your wellbeing matters so much at this point. You need a sound mind and a sound physical body if you’re to get through this. The worst thing you can do is feed yourself the wrong food, sleep too little, and drink and smoke too much. You might think, “What’s the point!” but there is a point. The point is that you need you. You need yourself to stay strong and look after yourself if you’re to get through this and find happiness again. Be kind to yourself. Be your best friend right now. Do the right things. All these tips are very useful when it comes to how to find happiness after a break up.
- Don’t Ask “What If?”
Perhaps the absolute worst thing you can do after a painful breakup is to ask the question, “What if?” What if I’d done this or that? What if I could have forgiven him sooner, instead of holding a stupid grudge? What if I had given him more space? These questions will only torment you. Accept that you did what you did because at the time it seemed like the right call. Learn from your mistakes and move on.
- Surround Yourself With Positivity
This is one of the most important tips on how to find happiness after a break up. It’s really important to hang out with positive people at any time, but it’s super important that you find the support of positive people when you’ve experienced a bad breakup. It’s well documented that we soak up the energy that surrounds us. If you hang out with negative people, you will absorb their energy like a sponge. After a breakup, this is the last thing you want. Find the right support system. Find people who are going to lift your spirits, make yourself feel better, and show you that it’s possible to find happiness again. Avoid bitter, resentful and mean people. Paying attention to the slime after a bad storm means you’ll find it hard to look up with a clear head. Always look for the rays of sunshine instead.
- Practice Kindness
We’re not always ourselves after a bad breakup, and sometimes we take it out on others. So it’s important that you find ways to be kind and compassionate to others. Practicing simple acts of kindness to others will help you to feel better. It will create lots of positive energy, and will boost your sense of self worth.
- Get Physical
In communicational therapy, there is a popular saying: “Motion dictates emotion.” In other words, what you do and what you don’t do can greatly affect your mood. In the event of a breakup, it can make you feel much worse, or it can help you to take the first steps towards recovery. Sitting around doing nothing is not a good idea. You aren’t using any energy, and you’re not not allowing oxygen to pump around your body with haste. This can keep your mood low. Working out, on the other hand, gets your blood pumping and your oxygen flowing, and this can instantly lift your spirits. Also, it’s natural to lose some confidence after a bad breakup. Working out can help to restore the way we feel about ourselves. If you’re not the biggest fan of exercise, you don’t have to work out. You could go singing or dancing instead. Or maybe you could play a sports!