“Humanity has unquestionably one really effective weapon – laughter. Power, money, persuasion, supplication, persecution – these can lift at a colossal humbug – push it a little, weaken it a little, century by century, but only laughter can blow it to rags and atoms at a blast. Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.”
– Mark Twain
Laughter really is the best medicine. But how important is it for a relationship? Dating profiles are a little bit different now. Ten years or so ago, a common question listed on each profile was, “what do you like most in a partner?” More often than not, the answer was “good sense of humour”. Nowadays, nothing has changed. A good sense of humour is something most of us (it not all) want from our partner. We want to spend our days with people who make us laugh, as opposed to grumps who always see the negative in everything and don’t have the ability to laugh it at all. Laughter creates stronger bonds. It eases tension, breaks ice, and brings us closer together. Think back to any time you were struggling to get along with anyone, be it a work colleague or your boss. The moment you two shared a joke together, the barriers fell apart. You were both giggling and smiling. Maybe at that point you decided to go and grab a coffee together. It’s like in the movies. When two characters who have found it hard to connect suddenly share laughter, the barriers fall away, a knowing glint appears in their eyes, and they decide to go and grab a coffee. There was a great example of this in the sitcom Seinfeld. The characters Elaine and George were struggling to be comfortable around each other, when all of a sudden they shared a funny anecdote and rolled around laughing! Laughter is key in any type of relationship. It plays a fundamental role in your relationship with your parents and your spouses. It can even play a key role in your relationship with your doctor! And how about your first dates? Do you recall how laughter eased the pressure, relieved any feelings of awkwardness and instantly made it easier for you to connect with your date? Laughter makes us feel happier. When we laugh, the things we were worrying about no longer seem so bad. Laughter is so important in any areas of our life, but especially in a relationship. Let’s take a look at why:
- Laughter Makes You Feel Instantly Better
Let’s say you’re having a really bad day. Nothing is going right, and you’ve returned home from work. Your partner hasn’t cooked dinner because they’ve only just returned home from work, too. And you’re in such a bad mood that everything they do annoys you. You snap at them, hit them with terse comments, and the mood is dark as heck. Your partner burns dinner and laughs about it. You don’t see the funny side, however. He cracks a joke but you can’t bring yourself to laugh. He suggests you two watch a comedy movie but you say No. Laughter is very much out of the question. This isn’t good for a relationship. Without laughter, there is going to be an icy atmosphere, and you might find yourself lashing out at your partner.
Being able to laugh at things lifts our mood instantly. It really is the best cure for a bad day. It makes us realise that, actually, what happened today was not so bad at all. Especially if you can laugh at it. Replay your day in your head, but pretend that you’re at the cinema and your life is a movie starring Will Ferrel and Melissa McCarthy. It’s a comedy movie, and you’re in the starring role. All of a sudden, the printer jam becomes funny, as does the fact that your boss – Will Ferrell – think it’s okay to ask if you can reply to 500 emails by 5PM. Is he insane? Of course he is! And that’s why we laugh. Realising that our life is mostly dictated by how we react to things ultimately means that you can start choosing how you’re going to react. How are you going to interpret things? Are you going to always interpret thing negatively and see the bad all the time? Or are you going to see the positives?
- Laughter Can Ease Tension
When you’re arguing with your partner about something, the tension can quickly escalate and go through the roof. And once you’ve both exploded, it can seem as though there is no way back. Well, there is. A well-timed joke always eases tense situations and reminds us that we love our partner, and that we’re being incredibly silly here. It can stop a situation from getting even worse, and allows us to come back down to earth, calm down, smile, and reach a resolution and compromise that suits us both.
- Laughter Is Exciting!
People who laugh together do fun things together. They solve problems with a smile on their face, wake up and seize the day, knowing that each day there is going to be fun, laughter and adventure. Laughter makes life seem more exciting. It lets us see it through the eyes of a child. We see all of its potential. And the best thing is that we see it together with our partner.
- Inside Jokes Are Good For Intimacy
Couples who have inside jokes have reached a certain level of intimacy that suggests this is a relationship that’s going places. Inside jokes that only you two understand are triggers to remind you of the happiness you’re enjoying in this relationship. They remind you of how much fun you were having when you came up with the jokes, as well as how much fun you’re still having. Inside jokes are like a secret language. And what’s not romantic about a secret language?!