Getting engaged should be the happiest moment of your life before your actual wedding. You’ll be beaming with pride and happiness, and you’ll be more in love than ever. Naturally, you’ll want your friends to be as happy as you are about your engagement. Most of them will be, but there may be one who seems strangely subdued and even resentful. What gives? Unfortunately, this is just the way it is. Some friends are inherently negative and jealous, and spend their lives competing with us and trying to better us. And when we get engaged before them? It can trigger a whole wave of emotions that reveal themselves in snarky comments and weird actions.
“I just hope it doesn’t rain on your wedding day,” they might say. Or maybe they’ll make a snide comment about how getting engaged means nothing until you guys have set a date. It’s not easy to deal with engagement jealousy. It can make you feel bad and even guilty. But you shouldn’t have to feel like that. This is their problem, not yours. Let’s take a look at 10 tips on how to deal with engagement jealousy.
- Don’t Let It Stop The Celebrations
The worst thing you can do is let engagement jealousy prevent you from revelling in your happiness. This is YOUR big moment and nothing should stop you from celebrating it. If a friend is jealous, that’s their issue. If they want to sulk, moan, mope and criticise, that’s their issue. All you need to focus on is savouring the moment, enjoying it, celebrating it, and having a toast to your future. Don’t be shy. Share your good news. Let people know how happy and excited you are. Don’t be afraid of stepping on a jealous persons toes. You’ve waited long enough for this, now celebrate it!
- Tell Them You Wish It Was Happening To Them, Too
Easiest way to soothe their jealousy? Tell them how much you love them, and that you really wish they were engaged, too.
- Acknowledge Their Jealousy
You could play dumb and act as though you’re not aware of their jealousy. Or you could be an adult about this and confront the issue head on. If you’re not a confrontational person, this can be hard to do. But confronting the issue isn’t you being mean – it’s simply a case of setting up your boundaries, being assertive and letting her know what you will and will not tolerate. The best way to nip engagement jealousy in the bud is to stop ignoring it and treat it at source. Confront your friend over it, tell her you know she’s got a problem and ask her why she feels this way. Once you get into a proper conversation about her feelings, her answers might be surprising. Once you know why she’s feeling like this, you can both work towards a reconciliation and moving onto a brighter future together. Let her know you love her and that you don’t want her to feel jealous.
- Strengthen Your Friendship
Use this as a watershed moment to strengthen the bonds of your friendship, reminding them of how much they mean to you.
- Don’t Go Overboard
It’s your moment in the spotlight and you should be able to enjoy yourself. By all means, enjoy yourself. Celebrate. Be happy and have a good time. But it’s important that you retain a bit of tact. Have some respect for your friends, and understand that if you have a jealous friend, she’ll have her own reasons for feeling that way. Don’t shove your engagement in her face just because you can, but remain as civil as possible.
- Welcome Them Into The Spotlight
Does a jealous friend deserve to be welcomed into the spotlight? Really? It all depends on understanding why they’re jealous. Sometimes, a friend just needs to know that we love and care about them. They’ll have their own reasons for feeling like they do, but it might just take you to put an arm around them and invite them into the spotlight to make them feel better. You need to remember that there are a lot of women who fully expected to be married by now. The fact that you’ve got engaged while they’re still hopelessly single can trigger enormous feelings of bitterness, sadness and jealousy. Put an arm around them. Show them that you care. Yes, it’s your big moment, but don’t leave them out. Give them a taste of it. This is all it might take to change the way they’re feeling. Is it your duty to change the way they’re feeling? Not necessarily. But as a friend, it’s your duty to reach out to your friends.
If you don’t mind a bit of confrontation and things are getting out of hand, don’t be afraid to confront them over this and tell them it isn’t acceptable.
- Play Things Down
Remind your friend that being engaged isn’t always exciting – there are downsides too, such as the stress of planning a wedding, his mom and so on.
- Stroke Their Ego
Sometimes, you’ll just want to calm the situation down – and you’ll be prepared to do anything it takes to do just that, even if it involves massaging their ego. If your friend loves to be the centre of attention, they’re probably reeling now that you’re stealing their thunder. As such, they’re jealous. They want their man to propose to them and they can’t believe yours got there first! While it’s not acceptable to be jealous like this, if you’re not the confrontational type you’ll want to do all that you can to defuse the situation. Easiest way to handle a strong personality who craves attention? Stroke their ego. Invite them to give you their opinions and ideas. Ask them for advice. Get them on board. Take them shopping for a dress with you.
- Help Them Meet Someone
This final one is a bit more elaborate. But if possible, arrange your seating plan so that your jealous friend is sat between two singles at the engagement party! If they meet someone, they’ll no longer care enough about you to be jealous.
Do you have other tips on how to deal with engagement jealousy?